A Taylor Swift Themed Cruise Is Coming And I Think This Is Where I Draw The Line

Taylor Swift fans will have the chance to swap bracelets and don their best "Eras" outfits next year during a Swiftie-themed, four-night cruise. 

Travel agency Marvelous Mouse Travels is organizing a Royal Caribbean "In My Cruise Era" trip, which will set sail on Oct. 21, 2024 on the Allure of the Seas. But those interested should know that Swift is not affiliated with the cruise, nor expected to appear on the ship.

I tap out. No fucking way. I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, but a Taylor Swift cruise might actually be hell on earth. You have to take into account the kind of people who are willing to both go on a cruise, and are also Taylor Swift fans. These are not the people you want to be stuck in the middle of an ocean with, in any capacity. I'm not naive, I know there are a subset of Swifties that are a little weirder than the rest. The Disney adults, the horse girls...Taylor has these people LOCKED DOWN and they of course, would be first in line for this cruise. Personally, I don't think I could handle that much amplified estrogen in one place. 

All of this, on top of the fact it's not even affiliated with Taylor, and she won't be there? That should be enough to cancel this whole idea. I know a barrage of boat freaks will load up on this tube of death looking to "make friends" and "bond with other Swifties" but I'm telling you right now, this is not the place. Save that feeling for the concerts, for the Eras Tour movie, any place where it's a sanctioned event for Taylor fans, that doesn't include a body of water for an extended period of time. I'm actually going to go as far as to say, this may ruin people's fandom. Swifties can be relentless. It would be SUCH an overload, that you might even get sick of her songs by the time you get off the boat. You might be soured on the community, and you might stop feeling that magic. There is such a thing as, "too much of a good thing!"

Stay off the boat. Do literally, anything else instead.